Archive for April, 2009

When pain is a signal for something else.

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

Some time ago I worked with a lady suffering from migraine.Although as we talked before we started the real work it became apparent that before the migraines she used to suffer from recurring back ache. Being a successful business person this would not stop here working many hours and dealing with high levels of stress. Having gone to a chiropractor and used other pain relieving drugs she overcame the pain only to find headaches came next. Still she persisted, work came first of course.

Then came the migraines and what migraines they were! She had to stop work and retreat to bed for three days. There was no way she could even think of work through these periods.

Even as we talked I could see she was beginning to notice the pattern. She said “it’s as if a part of me is trying to stop me working”

Now, there’s a great NLP (Neuro-Linquistic Programing) pattern/technique called ‘parts integration’ which really works so well in separating intention and behaviour.

So using this we found the intention of the part of her creating the migraines and stopping her working (the behaviour), which was to keep her safe and at its highest intention, to have freedom. And there was the conflict in itself. Without work she couldn’t have the freedom she wanted for her future yet working at the level she was the stresses she suffered would not allow her to have freedom now and probably a life after work ‘burnt out’. The flip side of this she really enjoyed her work and wanted to have the energy to continue until she retired early and have freedom with her friends and family ~ she had a lot of brilliant goals.

The ‘parts integration’ found resolution at a deep unconscious level as well as giving her a conscious awareness. (There’s an example of this on our videos). But we had to find a new way of working and resting. What did we do? Well the simple answer was to suggest to her unconscious mind to give her a signal, a pleasant signal, that when she got it she would take time to rest and look after herself and in return she agreed that if she didn’t honour that she would be more than happy to have a migraine. The result was she has been happy in her work and has seemed to have learnt a way to balance work, rest and play which is now a natural way for her.

The above is a true story but I guess if you haven’t someone to guide you through this what can you do? Are you stuck? Forever in pain?


Here’s what I do. I get to place where I can be quiet and be undisturbed. I put my attention into that place where the pain is and keep my awareness there. Sometimes I become aware the pain has a colour, a shape, a temperature etc. and as I keep my awareness there I simply ask “what do you want for me or what do you want me to know?”. The results can come in different forms, sometimes I hear a voice telling me what I need to do differently but usually I simply have a feeling that I can express into words or it’s like I just understand what I need to understand, what I’ve been missing.

Try it and let me know.

Joseph Clough through to the last 12 ~ Britains next top Coach

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

In a few days time Joseph and I are off to Cheltenham to the semi-finals of Britains Next Top Coach. As you can see by the title Joseph has been chosen to be in the last 12 of the competition.

So hopefully he can show everyone his undoubted (in my opinion) skills. In any event this is a great achievement for one so young (and special to this work).

Like both Luke, one of his brothers, and I he is not only talking the talk but getting great results walking the walk with NLP, hypnosis, time line therapy and our own developments of these.

from a proud Dad ~ Paul

A great weekend seminar feed back ~ Reclaim Your Destiny

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

“Each and every time I come into contact with Paul and Joseph they selflessly pass on a wisdom and a passion for NLP that is so rewarding, spiritually and intellectually – Thank you once again”

David M. (Wirral)

“Inspirational and passionate trainers. Reclaim your destiny was a fantastically comprehensive exploration into focusing on your goals in order to create your positive outcome, unique to you.”


Bernadette R (Colchester)

“Inspirational, thought provoking and truly motivational. A great tool to enable everyone to achieve their goals and so much more!”

Joseph K (operations manager – Cambridge)

“Self building tool- a fun way to go to my inner world & understand myself better. A great tool to be my best potential & redirect myself. I’m charge & inspired to achieve my goals~ Everything is possible now!”

Sony J (Indonesia)

“My destiny is awaiting! Off to re-claim mine now. Now I have the tools and knowledge to be able to really make the changes – Thanks Paul & Joseph”

Aly R (Cambridge)

“A lovely course, comforting and inspiring. It will enable me to change my life. Thank you”

Marian B (Lecturer – Cambridge)

“I loved it”

Vincent B (Grimsby)

“It’s really helped me to deal with old mind sets that are no longer helpful and move on with new goals for the future”

Louise A (London)

“A most enjoyable two days. The course was inspirational and most certainly can change your life for the better”

Barb M (Wirral)

Wow! What a great weekend we had, we even demonstrated  NLP tools which we teach and use in our therapy and it looks like we’ll be meeting again on our NLP trainings in August or November to learn NLP and Time Line Therapy and Real Hypnosis

The passion to make each new training better than the last just keeps growing


A simple way to feel good about yourself

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Some time ago I was feeling very low. Things had happened in my life that really made me feel really low. In fact it was horrible to feel so low.

And one thing I did to change that was this simple thing.

I got a sheet of paper and in the middle of it I wrote

‘My Qualities’ and drew a circle around it. And I asked myself what are my qualities?” and to be honest the way I was feeling I couldn’t answer, I didn’t feel I had any.Anyway, I persisted, kept asking and listening for an answer and I thought…….Well at least I’m alive! that’s a qualitiy. so I drew a line from the circle and wrote that out. Then a little later they began to flow

I’ve had a sense of humour so that was a quality

I’ve made people laugh

My sons love me so I can be loved and I’m a father (that was two by the way)

I’ve painted pictures before so in my way I’m creative

I can learn things (done that before)

I have helped others

I know I’ve inspired a few people

I can breathe/smile/laugh

I can be a good friend

I have been supportive

I’ve been in love so I can love and accept love

and the list just went on and on and on…………………………..

When I’d fininshed I re-read it all in my quiet place and I began to feel different. I began to remember times that made me feel those qualities again and they were true to me.

I knew then that life would be different now and with those qualities I could feel better. Just focusing on those qualities seemed to make a difference every day to the way I felt, the way I acted and to those I lived with or met.

In fact we (that’s Joseph and I) use this in our Reclaim Your Destiny weekend seminars and on the last one when we asked for feedback someone shouted out “I really like me! ~ Thank you!”So why don’t you give this a try?

If you’re feeling low or down, even acting depressed or maybe just out of a relationship take a few minutes to remind yourself who you really are.

If you’re feeling good – do it too and make yourself feel even more better than you are right now.

You can come back to this at any time. Add to it as you remember more qualities, maybe remembering what others have told you but you didn’t believe them.

Just think how you would feel going into a meeting or facing a problem if you re-read those qualities and how much better the outcome would be when you feel that way.

Simple things make profound changes.